Sandwich Generation - Dubious Distinction Finally Earned

Many of my friends have been in this "wonderful" club known as the Sandwich Generation for many years. I have heard about it, but knew I was not fully a member . . . until recently. Because we baby boomers are parents, grandparents, and sometimes called to "parent" our own parents, we are sandwiched between the generations. Well, I'm finally there. My two parents, aged well into their 8th decade, have become my responsibility. Yes, this role is shared with my brother, his wife, and my husband, and yes, they live in an Assisted Living facility who also care for them, but I am now the conductor of this complex symphony. And it is not easy, or for the faint of heart. 

Yesterday was one of many firsts that I could have lived without. My father had on no underwear beneath his pants. I had to locate a pair of Depends, sit him on the bed, have him remove his pants, assist him with putting on underwear, well....you can imagine the rest. We did it again today, so now it's not as shocking to him or to me. 

Having two parents who have dementia at the same time is an added challenge. They both have different sets of problems, and it is really a challenge to take care of both. For example, my Dad has a physical problem called lymphedema with his legs. The treatment requires us to take him every day for at least a week to have his legs wrapped. They need to stay wrapped 24/7 for a week. We took mom along because I think she would worry where Dad was if we took him and left her at the facility. But she was getting more and more quiet and concerned about what was happening. I know she's more confused than ever. To try to help her feel better, I'm going to take her swimming this afternoon. Back to Dad's physical issues: he received his first of at least 7 leg wrappings yesterday afternoon. We took him back to the facility afterwards, returned them to their apartment (they are locked in a memory care unit), and reminded him to keep his legs elevated, do his exercises, etc., and that my brother would see them tonight. Which he and my sister-in-law did, and all was well. Well, we showed up the next day at 6:15 am to pick them up to take back to the clinic, to be greeted with the wrappings in a heap on the floor! He did not remember removing them.  More tomorrow - I've got to go to the store and buy him a belt (his pants are falling down), and some pants with elastic waists. Then I'm taking mom swimming. It's a good thing I'm retired!