Unexpected Zappos Encounter

I'm typing this with tears in my eyes. Back story: I ordered a pair of LARGE slippers for Dad from Zappos. His feet are swollen with  lymphedema and the only shoes we can get on his feet are his tennis shoes which are barely closing. So a friend recommended this brand (Old Friend) and I tried a pair of 15 wides but they were too small. I love the Zappos company - the nicest friendlist people, so instead of returning via internet I called to talk to someone. The lady that answered - Ellie - was obviously from a different country by her accent. We had some miscommunication because she thought I said I was returning these shoes for my daughter.  She said something like, "I'm sorry these didn't work for your daughter" and I got a bit prickly and said, "They are for my 86 year old father - yeah that would be a funny story to tell your coworkers about a daughter with size 16 shoes!" Anyway, she proceeded to tell me - very nicely - that she envied me that I had my father in my life. Her father has not spoken to her since she got pregnant and had to drop out of college. He told her she was his failure. I was shocked. I asked, "How old is your child now?" Her answer: "Twenty-one." I was so embarrassed and humbled by my initial reaction. The trite statement is so true that you NEVER know what someone is going through.

Sandwich Generation - Dubious Distinction Finally Earned

Many of my friends have been in this "wonderful" club known as the Sandwich Generation for many years. I have heard about it, but knew I was not fully a member . . . until recently. Because we baby boomers are parents, grandparents, and sometimes called to "parent" our own parents, we are sandwiched between the generations. Well, I'm finally there. My two parents, aged well into their 8th decade, have become my responsibility. Yes, this role is shared with my brother, his wife, and my husband, and yes, they live in an Assisted Living facility who also care for them, but I am now the conductor of this complex symphony. And it is not easy, or for the faint of heart. 

Yesterday was one of many firsts that I could have lived without. My father had on no underwear beneath his pants. I had to locate a pair of Depends, sit him on the bed, have him remove his pants, assist him with putting on underwear, well....you can imagine the rest. We did it again today, so now it's not as shocking to him or to me. 

Having two parents who have dementia at the same time is an added challenge. They both have different sets of problems, and it is really a challenge to take care of both. For example, my Dad has a physical problem called lymphedema with his legs. The treatment requires us to take him every day for at least a week to have his legs wrapped. They need to stay wrapped 24/7 for a week. We took mom along because I think she would worry where Dad was if we took him and left her at the facility. But she was getting more and more quiet and concerned about what was happening. I know she's more confused than ever. To try to help her feel better, I'm going to take her swimming this afternoon. Back to Dad's physical issues: he received his first of at least 7 leg wrappings yesterday afternoon. We took him back to the facility afterwards, returned them to their apartment (they are locked in a memory care unit), and reminded him to keep his legs elevated, do his exercises, etc., and that my brother would see them tonight. Which he and my sister-in-law did, and all was well. Well, we showed up the next day at 6:15 am to pick them up to take back to the clinic, to be greeted with the wrappings in a heap on the floor! He did not remember removing them.  More tomorrow - I've got to go to the store and buy him a belt (his pants are falling down), and some pants with elastic waists. Then I'm taking mom swimming. It's a good thing I'm retired!

A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS (VEGAN STYLE)!

As our family grows in size, we seem to also scatter in far-flung directions. Our married daughter and son-in-law have lived in Durham, NC for a few years, but will be moving to Indianapolis, IN in January. Only our son lives nearby, as does one of my brothers and his family. So family get-togethers are rare. Yet - most of the family traveled over the river and through the woods to Grammy and Papa's house in Ohio this year for a wonderful family Christmas. We traveled from Virginia, Georgia, North Carolina, California, and Ohio to be together. Even though the weather was less than ideal, everyone made the trip unscathed. Eating and drinking (of course), game playing, and catching up on everyone's news made for a memorable time.

VEGAN COOKING - IT CAN BE DONE!!!
Since like most families these holidays center on food, of course we had much delicious food. Even our vegan daughter had plenty to eat. At one meal, we had make your own pizzas, with lots of vegetable choices and soy cheese (with meat and regular cheese choices for the carnivores). At the Christmas meal, vegan highlights were brussel sprouts sauteed with apricots and almonds, fresh pineapple and pomegranate seeds (beautiful and tasty), and a sweet potato and apple bake. Delicious!

Invictus Movie Review

Though it dragged in certain parts, this was a wonderful film. Morgan Freeman was the highlight -- his portrayal of Nelson Mandela was masterful. You love Mandela in the story. He was a modern-day Lincoln, wisely working to bring rival factions together through the sport of rugby. The grueling sport of rugby is vividly portrayed by Matt Damon and the other team members. What a brutal sport! Basically, it is football without any padding or protection! While some story elements could have been trimmed, the overall story was educational and inspiring.

Thanksgiving Recipes

Just wanted to share a couple wonderful recipes that were hits for Thanksgiving - some family favorites and some new. We enjoyed our Thanksgiving meal with family, and then had a leftover night Friday night with some of our neighbors. Everyone brought a "specialty" they had prepared - it was great! You can't get too much Thanksgiving food!

GRAMMY'S CRANBERRY-APPLE RELISH

My grandma always prepared this for Thanksgiving - it is delicious and so pretty in a cut-glass bowl!

1 lb. cranberries
3 oranges (some rind)
1 large can crushed pineapple
3 red apples
3 tablespoons lemon juice
2 cups sugar

Mix cranberries, oranges, and pineapple in food processor with metal blade. Remove to a bowl. Core and slice apples - squirt with lemon juice. Use grater blade to grate apples and transfer to the bowl with the cranberries. Add sugar and stir - keeps 1 week in refrigerator.

PHYLLO WRAPPED ASPARAGUS

I got this recipe from my vegan daughter - easy and delicious! There was none leftover, and since it's a vegetable, that made me feel good.

Recipe courtesy Paula Deen

Ingredients

* 8 or 9 asparagus spears, depending on size
* 1/2 (16-ounce) package frozen phyllo dough sheets, thawed
* 1/4 cup butter, melted
* 1/4 cup finely grated Parmesan

Directions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

Snap off the tough ends of the asparagus. Unwrap the phyllo and cut the stack in half lengthwise. Reserve 1 stack for later use. Cover the phyllo with a damp towel to keep it from drying out. Take 1 sheet of phyllo and brush lightly with some melted butter. Sprinkle with some Parmesan. Place 2 to 3 asparagus spears on the short end of the sheet. Roll up, jelly-roll style. Place each piece, seam side down, on a baking sheet. Brush with more melted butter and sprinkle with more Parmesan. Repeat until all the asparagus spears are used up. Place baking sheet in oven and bake for 15 to 18 minutes, or until golden brown and crispy.

Great Walking Songs

Gimme Three Steps - Lynyrd Skynyrd
You May be Right - Billy Joel
Burning Love - Elvis Presley
An American Girl - Tom Petty

Book Review - Crazy for the Storm by Norman Ollestad

This is a real page-turner - another true story I could not put it down! A true story about a young man who survived a small plane crash in the 70's. In the very first chapter, the plane containing the author and his father crashes in the California mountains. The next chapter begins the story of Mr. Ollestad's life, focusing on his larger-than-life father, a surfer and skier who tried to pass on those skills to his son. Using alternating chapters to tell both stories, this riveting story hangs on and never lets go. Read this book!!!